JustBeUrself

You, me & AIDS..

India lost another match and dad & I were watching insipid news shows showering brick-bats on Greg chapel & bouquets on ganguly dada. Dad was lecturing about the usual “Be responsible” & “Grow up” stuff & I was changing channels more fast then Paris Hilton changing her partners & by chance we landed on MTV. My fingers just froze. A lady in her twenties was recounting her ordeal after she was diagnosed HIV positive, In fact she was blamed by her in-laws for bringing the curse on their son & was thrown out of their house, and she was stigmatized & victimized for no fault of hers. It’s very much clear that her ‘faithful’ husband had got her in this mess; still the lady stays with her husband and had to abort her child due to the circumstances forced upon her.

My own dilemmas cropped up & I was kind off feeling at unease seeing the discussion that followed, “was this thing ok to talk about”, “how it actually spreads”, all my fears & doubts came to fore and I knew answers were far from coming. I tried to strike a conversation with dad but seriously could not muster up the courage to really get to the point, doctors & volunteers from a NGO were trying their level best to clear up the haze surrounding AIDS & HIV. I comprehend that unsafe sex is the major reason but seriously even being a 3/4^th engineer my knowledge regarding aids is peppered with irrational fears & rumors, like hiv +ve people pricking needles to take revenge, hiv virus being passed during food preparation & even shaking hands with hiv +ve people being dangerous cloud my mind. I know these are based on unfounded fears, but you don’t need to be an expert to not to be influenced by guys talking all this gibberish. Me & my friends way short on awareness on this issue. This issue remains a taboo in our homes, educational institutes, hang-out places, everywhere. We refuse to simply talk about it. I remember during a late night hostel gupshup session Sam tried broaching this subject & the standard reply was “WE know everything dude, It can’t happen to us” & we moved onto other topics..

But it can happen to me, to you or your best friend, hiv virus doesn’t see the label of your jeans or perfume you are carrying, unsafe sex, improper blood transfusion, sharing needles all can cause aids & seriously You know when you are at risk.

I jotted down the number of the helpline & plan to call them 8 am tomorrow morning to clear up my doubts because I don’t want to carry the baggage of irrationality and I guess I am going to literally force my friends to listen about it.

Life is precious & we can’t afford to lose our loved ones just because of lack of information, ignorance is not bliss in this scenario. We are responsible for good health of our loved ones and our deeds, aren’t we. So my real-life friends you will be listening a lot about aids & hiv from my mouth over a next few days.

posted by Ginni @ 9:19 PM 3 Comments

Maggi Ready!!!

Disclaimer: I am a normal 21 year old guy, fed on mess food for three years... three as in 3..

Now read the Story:
For a kid raised like the (im)perfect (idiot) kid of Ekta Kapoor serials I was more then shy, fat & dumb guy then you would expect now.Now college is like an institution where kids have to improve themselves & confront various situations on their own. SO while having the first dinner in my mess I decided that I needed to acquire some rudimentary cooking skills to save myself & I embarked on a jourey of self-attainment... A journey to cook the perfect maggi, stir up the perfect piping hot cuppa coffee,, learning how to gobble anything that resembled edible item.
AND today I can proudly proclaim standing on the 3 pans I burnt to ashes that I can make perfectly cooked maggi with all it flavours intact.. [:D]

Cuz I just did & my bro liked it,, he is kinda guy who may even butter chicken a miss If something is amiss.. but he liked maggi made by me.. hurray..
Kuch tuh sikha engineering mein.. [:P]

I remember the first day I met Ms. X on orkut I had burnt one pan (had slept leaving it on simmer) & she actually told me to clean the mess & bake another cake.. oops cook another maggi... :"))

btw any idea when team India plans to bat through 50 overs??

@ Ms. X :: when u bake more of SOFT chocolate cakes.. [:P],, courier me one..

posted by Ginni @ 1:46 AM 3 Comments

Stuffed by All the GYAAN

Typed in "IIM+motivation" in the blog search of google..
found this..

"Two little mice fell in a bucket of cream. The first mouse quickly gave up and drowned. The second mouse, wouldn't quit. He struggled so hard that eventually he churned that cream into butter and crawled out."
- Frank Abagnale Sr. - Catch Me If You Can (2002)

As of this moment, I am the second mouse. -

The bold & italicised words surely reflect what Im feeling.. I messed up each & every section of CAT(a test for selection for mba's in India)... but I know if I don't try again better prepared, it will be a waste of beautiful possibilities..Let's see..

BTW one important gyaan: never write about what you are thinking about some *girl* on your blog even If u feel lonely & fed of carrying around "single & ready to mingle" banner.. She might read that & become as confused as Kate Moss in a buddhist meditation centre..

But I love going back on my written words... :P
Ms X : You rock, & that different type wala love stuff.. I know It's the height of stupidity & idioticity,, but kindly don't mind & Ignore the ramblings of a crazy guy.. I will listen to himesh when such thoughts come across my mind :) ok?? or may even watch star plus ke awesome sitare like the NEW Gen- X jerks on Kahaani,, .. abh tuh smile karde..

Kindly spare me the agony... [:P]

posted by Ginni @ 12:13 AM 8 Comments

How Could YOU.

ME: I screwed up!!!
Me(again): Mind your vocablary. kya hua

Me: Dude you know what happened..
Me(confused) : ReH just let me know in simple & straight words.

Me: You messed BIG time.
Me(erratic): What did you do?? Let me know OR else..

Me: How could you??
Me(seriously insinuated): Will you fucking tell what did you do or go fuck yourself,,

Me: Fucko U bungled up the chance to make it..
Me(dhakhan look): Ok.. the babe was nice,,but she as WOH..,nah..

Me: Man you still thinking about this babe crap..
Me(cool): Kya khali-pili @#@#@!#@#$$

Me: You messed up CAT
Me(moron like face): SO,, what should I do..??

Me: Perhaps kill yourself
Me(hyper): Not worth it...

Me: You didn't live up 2 the expectations..
Me(d'uh): Leave it man.. Some other time..Some other place..

Me: Abh kya hua.???
Me(afraid): Reality has dawned in front of my eyes..
I did very bad in CAT..

Me: Very-very-very bad,,
Me(depressed): Given the precaurious situation I have landed myself in.. I have to correct it,, It was my fault,, I will think about it.

Me: Think you must & Better sleep..
Me--obviously sleeping

posted by Ginni @ 12:05 AM 1 Comments

21 & Still Going Strong

21-Legal Age to marry,
21-Nirula's Ice-Cream flavour,
21-Age of the owner of this blog :)

Googled "18 nov+astrology"
Result:

The Astrology & Numerology of your Birthday

Your Sun is in Scorpio in the Cancer decanate and the Leo quadrant.

The rulers of your Sun in Scorpio are Pluto and Mars. Secondary rulers of your decanate and quadrant signs are the Moon and the Sun.

You are passionate and loving, and very dedicated to those you love. Your sense of drama is large, and you are extremely perceptive. Love and companionship is important to you. Your motivation on the job is often fueled by your sense of fulfillment in your personal life. If you are feeling loved and wanted, your productivity is at its peak. You easily absorb the emotions of others and the atmosphere of your environment.

defending - dedicated - Perceptive

A lot of other stuff regarding future endeavours & stuff. A common thread is

"Refined, cultured disposition. Enterprising, polite, and conservative. Successful in
business or politics. Enjoys comforts and the pleasures of life."

Also happy birthday to this blog. :))

Ciao.. love life,but respect it first..

Labels: birthday

posted by Ginni @ 1:04 AM 3 Comments

WHAT A CAT(ch)

I am struck right now trying to decipher what Derrida said in the two page long passage that came in CAT-05. Terms such as ‘LOGOCENTRISM’,’DECONSTRUCTION’, ‘DIFFE`RANCE’ are trying to confuse & create a sense of tension in my mind and it is this time that the analyst part my personality kicks in and I think I understood what he didn’t meant & didn’t imply. I plan to study more, please don’t get me wrong. I am a normal engineering student with lots errands to run. But I wish I could study more. The countdown which I started on my last birthday inches closer to its finale. Whenever I give a mock I just think that ok I have two & a half hours to myself, I am cool, but one questions crop up- PURPOSE. Do I really have the driven personality required by IIM’s . Last two months went to orkutting and playing stupid online games & puzzles. My mind wanders to the night I sat with sunny and chalked down my career plan, AIM IIM-A was the resolution and we planned that this was the opportunity we had been waiting to make our destiny. We believed in ourselves, I still carry the faith, I believe in myself. Rather this question “WHY MBA, WHY IIM’s” comes back in my mind. Is it just the lure of gold or a status symbol? The answer comes in hazy busts, I want to explore. I might land up in a good software company, be really happy coding and debugging, but what after a few years down the line, I might feel constricted as a programmer, I might feel confined. MbA would open up new vistas for me, I hope. I might not make the all-rounder I-banker but I am just happy being the good guy. It may sound clichéd but I like to observe and reflect. I approach various situations in a bipartisan manner and MBA will equip me to dissect it to the core, I would be ecstatic getting to the real issues at hand & creating value. I got a few great friends, who stand by me. Who understand eccentricities are an integral part of me. I may be really happy, but behind the happiness is many a times a feeling of numbness, I can’t explain it. I can’t help it. They believe in me, M says “GINNI just stick to your job”, Gagan inspires me to rise over expectations, maa supports me a lot. Sam says “Bhai tuh CHEETAH hai”. I am thankful to all. I have a purpose and I decide I would work hard all my life, MBA or S/W field – Nothing Else MAtters .

I am grateful to THE insane intense competition, I will always remember the adage

“DIAMOND IS THE COAL THAT STRUCK TO IT’S JOB”

@ sh d : Guess u get the reason behind my insomnia :)

p.s.: Is it an irony that my birthday is just a day before cat??? D'Uh

Labels: CAT, insipration, self-motivation

posted by Ginni @ 9:20 PM 2 Comments

4:10 am & still no signs of sleep... Is their an INSOMNIAC's Anonymous??? :)

Labels: sleep

posted by Ginni @ 4:10 AM 2 Comments

I need Serenity

Just wanted to post something,,,anything.. feeling as empty as umhhh.. my pocket & my brain :)
& yes she is clouding my thoughts, I don't wanna fall in the abyss of love again but you can expect me going a little more insane for her.. I know it's insanity.. I can't afford another heart-break.. it's tough not 2 think of her even during exams.. Like started liking Mac Donalds de burgers,, but I bet my money on KFC..I just don't wanna hurt & be hurt again,, but as they say
"It is remarkable how similar the pattern of love is to the pattern of insanity."
I feel as confused as Jayalalitha in a sauna belt advt.. I know my sense of humour is not something exemplary but in front of her it just goes on a nitro booster,, I see history repeating again.. Am I willing to bleed,, don't know.. It might happen soon.. I am afraid.. but ms X is doing a great job of keeping me chilled up.. I think I love her,, different style ka hai,, par chalta hai,,


Have listened to this song for 3 hours non-stop,, Godsmack,,

As I sit here and slowly close my eyes
I take another deep breath
And feel the wind pass through my body
I'm the one in your soul
Reflecting inner light
Protect the ones who hold you
Cradling your inner child

I need serenity
In a place where I can hide
I need serenity
Nothing changes, days go by

Where do we go when we just don't know
And how do we relight the flame when it's cold
Why do we dream when our thoughts mean nothing
And when will we learn to control


I need serenity
In a place where I can hide
I need serenity
Nothing changes, days go by..

I need serenity..

I really need it & Ms. X takes me there,,
BTW munnah would be getting a profile on orkut very soon..just have 2 ask her mother.. lol..

posted by Ginni @ 1:08 AM 1 Comments

saw SAW III

Watched SAW !!! around 12:30 & was happily munching my daily fix of paranthas,,,, & at 12:34 I puked it out.. The blood & gore churned my innards, but I was just so numbed I ended up watching the whole movie... Guess I dont have a strong heart... The sound of chain saw is ringing like the latest jingle of ar rehman in my head & I guess it's gonna be a long night.. I simply screw up a lot many things that ought not be.... D'uH just scared..

I have not eaten anything since then.. [::(]

BTW Munnah is doing awesome [:))]

posted by Ginni @ 10:13 PM 2 Comments

My Wife & My kid

Ok I am just 20 year old 3-4 th of an engineer guy & a wannabe corporate Casanova and going by my killer looks and girth it will take the reincarnation of asura community to find my perfect match. I still have not taken LAWA Phere *Sikh Marriage Ceremony* nor signed any a document whatsoever in the registrar’s office, but lucky me experienced martial bliss in an altogether different setting. :-)

Circa: 1998 or 1999 *real bad memory* or 1997

A world oops a word going by the name of internet was on everybody’s lips. HT and TOI came up with long articles explaining pros & con of the web. & As an adolescent kid of high curiosity index I was highly excited by the new avenues to be discovered. So surfing became a total fad but it was damn costly, had to stop drinking colas to save money for my evening fix. Knowing the result of wrestling mega events before it came on TV & boosting about watching *censor* gave such a high. Those were beautiful days.*nostalgic*

Then 2 years down the line a piece of software called by the name of yahoo messenger came in our lives and all hell broke lose. I remember in standard 11^th when we should be discussing Heisenberg’s principle & properties of colloidal solutions the guys talked about the GIRL they had courted online. Long and fantastical accounts were narrated regarding the latest catch. But poor I, with pathetic ladki-pata & senti-mar skills ended up being a dud in this field. My unlucky run in the online & offline world has continued on & off till recently. A phenomenon going by the ORKUT has almost ended my fictitious dry run.

Just going through the Delhi rock community on orkut I saw a smiling face on the upper right corner & just clicked on it and WOW this was one amazing personality. She seemed a wee-bit crazy but given that I am a certified despo engineer *just kicked out of one-sided love* I just left some infinitely idiotic one-liner. & Whoof A REPLY. I was on the seventh star. As I guessed she was total crazy and interesting in her own different way. We exchanged scraps on & off.

One night feeling lonely I just buzzed her on messenger & d’uh she replied. Life has a malicious agenda. She turned out to one hell of a woman,,,, First I thought her to be a HE out to make fool of me.. par galti tuh insaan se hi hoti hai.. her sense of humor ,, just one word,, AWESOME.. Rare a person I have seen who can carry on the jokes with such a panache.. She’s just 70% crazy. Just like a little terrorist she is,, lol.. but the joke about the usual broken & wannabe relationship crap took whole together different flight & we married online.. & even had a kid.. She left a guy of 20 rolling on the floor laughing for a full half an hour.. we wrote each other total senti & fundo testimonials & even elevated the relationship status to married.. laughed the hell out discussing how to raise our munnah.. his daily school reports.. his crushes,, his fights in school.. & a hell lot many things.. I mean it beats me how someone can be so hilarious. The riotous laughs still echo.. I bet if there was a competition on the lines of miss world for Jocular women,, she would beat the others any time.. Apart from maa , she is one of the few people who laughs *or pretends* over my pjs.. .

Well I must say married life is bliss.. & now I think the joke is ended & I am back to single ready to mingle status again.. Lucky me.. But we might meet or not meet in person..I don't know.. well definitely when she turns ekta-kapoor style scheming auntie with 5 inch glasses & horrible make-up.. she might respond to my idiotic flirtations.. till then D’uH…I think I should ask himesh reshamiya'g & wear the total despo cap & sing her crappiest romantic songs from the movies of dharam paaji..

So fellas we may not find our true love on internet but surely meet amazing people who really are worth their weight in laughing gas,,
Hail orkut..

Ms. X *u know identity thiefs nah*u rock

posted by Ginni @ 11:07 PM 4 Comments